{"id":7529,"date":"2019-08-23T16:36:41","date_gmt":"2019-08-23T16:36:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.fransreichardt.nl\/?p=7529"},"modified":"2021-01-04T18:17:16","modified_gmt":"2021-01-04T18:17:16","slug":"boost-your-career-with-better-listening-skills","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fransreichardt.com\/nl\/boost-your-career-with-better-listening-skills\/","title":{"rendered":"Boost Your Career With Better Listening Skills"},"content":{"rendered":"

Empathy, silence, body language, and effort all come into play<\/strong><\/h4>\n

By Cheryl Meyer | <\/span>Published on FMMagazine.com on 19 April 2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\"listeningFrans Reichardt learned the art of emotional listening from his mother. When Reichardt was a boy in the Netherlands, he regularly observed her asking his father about work over the dinner table. \u201cYou ask questions, but you don\u2019t know what he\u2019s talking about \u2014 or do you?\u201d he recalled asking his mom when he was a teen. Her reply was enlightening: She wasn\u2019t all that interested in\u00a0what\u00a0<\/i>her husband was doing but rather\u00a0how<\/i>\u00a0he was doing.<\/p>\n

That experience made such an impact on Reichardt that he became a professional speaker and coach, known as The Customer Listener, advising companies on how to attract, retain, and\u00a0listen<\/i>to customers. \u201cPeople want to be listened to and want to be seen,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

What he learned early on is this: Listening matters. It matters in marriages and in friendships, and it is a crucial skill in business. Those who listen well \u2014 and strive to do so \u2014 exude sympathy for another person\u2019s angst; they can motivate employees to be focused, once they recognise their fears; and they form unshakeable bonds, personally or professionally, by being interested and concerned.<\/p>\n

\u201cAttention and empathy go hand in glove,\u201d said Rick Bommelje, book author, communications professor at Rollins College, and president of the Leadership & Listening Institute Inc., based in Orlando, Florida. \u201cWe\u2019re dealing with people, and people have feelings, and feelings are important.\u201d<\/p>\n

Many professionals, though, are lousy listeners. \u201cSomewhere we lost the habit of speaking and listening and we need to rediscover this,\u201d quipped Julian Treasure, a communications specialist, book author, and founder of The Sound Agency, a UK-based audio-branding company. In his\u00a0TED talk<\/a>, \u201c5 Ways to Listen Better\u201d, which has almost 7 million views, he noted that people spend about 60% of their communication time listening to others, but retain only 25% of what they hear.<\/p>\n

Why is\u00a0good<\/i>\u00a0listening so difficult? There are too many distractions, particularly in this screen-based age of email, mobile phones, and other devices. Most people also make assumptions and generalise about others, traits which impact how they listen, Treasure said. Even professionals can struggle with listening because of emotions or distracting thoughts; it is also common to think about what one will say while pretending to listen, according to Treasure.<\/p>\n

He stresses that it takes time, concentration, and an appropriate environment to have an effective conversation. Case in point: It may be impossible to have a successful business dialogue in a noisy coffee shop while one is intermittently checking one\u2019s text messages. In that example of everyday chaos, one may hear, but not listen well.<\/p>\n

Treasure, Reichardt, and Bommelje, three listening experts, offer the following tips on how to be a more empathetic and intelligent listener:<\/p>\n

Be conscious.<\/b><\/h3>\n

Hearing is involuntary, but listening is a skill that can be perfected. So before you can listen well, you must be conscious that you are doing it. \u201cBe aware that listening is a choice,\u201d said Reichardt. \u201cMost people can hear, but hearing doesn\u2019t mean you are listening.\u201d So make a conscious effort to truly take note. And stay open to everything the other person is saying. Don\u2019t judge.<\/p>\n

Be aware of body language.<\/b><\/h3>\n

Stay focused, and maintain eye contact. Face others, and if sitting, lean forward to express interest. \u201cBody language is extremely important,\u201d Treasure said. Also, noted Reichardt, \u201cObserve the other person\u2019s body language, gestures, and facial expressions. The body tells you more than just the words.\u201d<\/p>\n

Be compassionate and curious.<\/b><\/h3>\n

Exhibit kindness, well wishing, and empathy. \u201cMost people don\u2019t listen in an empathetic way, because they listen automatically,\u201d Reichardt said. \u201cGood, effective listening is more giving.\u201d Make an effort to understand the other person and to discover what drives them. Give them the floor and ask open-ended questions. \u201cAn honest, open question has no agenda, and one of the primary reasons to ask it is to enable the other person to hear their own voice,\u201d Bommelje added.<\/p>\n

Embrace quietness.<\/b><\/h3>\n

Most of us are uncomfortable when there\u2019s a break in dialogue, but silence can be beneficial. \u201cIt\u2019s a big mistake to think you have to fill every second of the conversation with your voice,\u201d Treasure said. \u201cSilence in conversations can be powerful, and pauses give the other person a chance to respond.\u201d Also, said Reichardt, \u201cCreate a safe, quiet, and inviting environment\u201d to minimise distractions and make you a better listener.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t interrupt.<\/b><\/h3>\n

People often feel compelled to interject their own brilliant thoughts, even when another person is still conversing. But that\u2019s not productive, Treasure said. Take a deep breath prior to speaking; this will give you \u201ca split second when you might realise the person is still talking\u201d, he added. Make the conversation about them, not you.\u00a0Listen<\/i>.<\/p>\n

Take action.<\/b><\/h3>\n

Once you are mindful about listening, identify a behaviour or an action to help make you a better listener, such as \u201ckeeping your phone in your pocket on purpose, rather than having it out on a table in a meeting room\u201d, Bommelje said. \u201cThe repeated action over a period of time will create a habit. Listening pays in many ways if you make the investment.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2014\u00a0Cheryl Meyer<\/i><\/b>\u00a0is a freelance writer based in the US.\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n<\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I learned the art of emotional listening from my mother. When I was a young boy, I regularly observed her asking my father about his work over the dinner table. \u201cYou asked questions, but you didn\u2019t know what he was talking about \u2014 or did you?\u201d I asked my mom years later. Her reply was enlightening: she wasn\u2019t all that interested in\u00a0what\u00a0her husband was doing but rather\u00a0how\u00a0he was doing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":7533,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[181,15],"tags":[227,224,225,226],"class_list":["post-7529","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog-english","category-blog-nederlands","tag-career-development","tag-leadership","tag-leadership-skills","tag-soft-skills"],"yoast_head":"\nBoost Your Career With Better Listening Skills - Frans Reichardt - The Customer Listener<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fransreichardt.com\/nl\/boost-your-career-with-better-listening-skills\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"nl_NL\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Boost Your Career With Better Listening Skills - Frans Reichardt - The Customer Listener\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I learned the art of emotional listening from my mother. 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